Ain't No Grave
by Glassfirefly
Summary: CM Punk, Jeff Hardy, Chrisitan, Miz, and The Great Khali are trapped by The Undertaker. And the only way to get out is for Punk to show Jeff a little affection. Punk's POV. Very heavy slash. Oneshot.


**A/N: Got this idea out of listening to odd music and taking advice from a friend. I don't know how that is, but I decided to write it. I warn you, it's semi-violent and there are VERY heavy slash elements.**

Phil Brookes awoke unable to move in a dark room. "Wh...What...?"

He felt exhausted, and tried to squirm, but his hands were bound behind his back. "Wh...where the fuck am I?"

"Who's that?" A familiar voice asked.

"Br-Brookes..." He said, trying to unbind his hands. It felt as if someone had kicked him in the face.

"Punk?" Another voice asked, "Punk is in here, too?"

"Where...where are we?" Phil asked.

"Hell if I know." Another voice said...there were at least three others besides Phil.

The lights flickered on and Phil shut his eyes in blinding pain. He slowly opened them again to see four others. Jeff Hardy, who was bound to a chair, Christian, who was bound to a tub pipe with hand cuffs, Mike Mizanin, who's mouth was taped shut and who was chained to the wall, and Khali, who was hog-tied on the floor.

"I-is this s-some kind of weird...gay orgy...thing?" Phil asked.

"You wish." Jeff said, "We've been stuck here in the dark for hours, and your lazy-ass has been asleep for most of it."

"Hello." A familiar voice sounded in the room, "You all know me, and I know you. So we can skip the formalities."

"Undertaker...?" Christian asked.

"You've all had life too good. None of you appreciate life enough, especially you, CM Punk." Phil looked around for the source of the voice. "So, I've decided we're going to play a game. I'm putting you up to a challenge, and for every thirty minutes the challenge has not been completed, one of you will be killed by the poison I have injected into all of your blood streams, some more than others. The only way I will give you the antidote is if the challenge is completed."

"And what is this challenge?" Khali asked.

"CM Punk, you take your life for granted everyday. You are cold and never affectionate towards anyone but yourself. Your challenge is to follow my every instruction to show affection towards a man you have hurt...Jeff Hardy." The voice said.

"WHAT?" Phil yelped.

"Your chains will be undone, and you cannot escape. Just follow my instruction." Undertake's voice said lowly. CM Punk's chain loosened and fell off of his hand with an odd mechanical noise. "Approach him."

Phil did as he was told. "Shake his hand." Jeff rolled his eyes and his chains were loosened, he reached out with one hand and Punk shook it.

"Okay, we're done." Phil said, "Give us the antidote and send us home."

"Not quite." Undertaker's voice said, "Hug him."

Jeff held out his arms childishly, "Let's hug, then." Phil sighed and hugged the other man briefly.

"Good. You two still seem a little bit distanced. Kiss him, use tongue, feel the inside of his mouth, be passionate about it." He said.

The two men glared at the ceiling. They despised each other, but were worried about what might happen if they didn't. Phil hesitated then, drew in closely to Jeff, pressing his lips to the other superstar's. Jeff's face grew red, but he licked Phil's lips to coax him.

Jeff opened his mouth slightly and Phil slid his tongue in. He tasted Jeff's tongue and his mouth, which was surprisingly sweet. Jeff closed his eyes and the other man bit his bottom lip gently before re-inserting his tongue. He tasted his mouth again, he liked the sweet taste. Not that he would ever say that out loud.

Phil drew away and Jeff opened his eyes. They looked at each other briefly before turning away in embarrassment. The other wrestlers looked at them with shocked, confused, and disgusted expressions. "Very, very nice. I didn't say you had to bite his lip, nor go for a whole two minutes. Looks like you two might be getting along a little bit better."

Phil blushed deeply, and tried to respond, but couldn't find anything to say. "Sh-shut up...neither of us liked it." Jeff blushed.

"Your eyes tell a different story, Jeff. Now, Punk, take off Miz's tape." Punk nodded and took the tape off Mike's mouth.

"I don't have to kiss him, do I?" Mike asked.

"No," Undertaker said, "Punk go back to Jeff and take off his shirt."

Punk blushed and walked over to Jeff and whispered, "I've seen you shirt less plenty of times...just pretend like we're in the locker room and you need help." Jeff nodded and Punk lifted up Jeff's shirt, taking it off.

"Now your shirt, Punk." Phil slipped out of his own shirt, he had done it so many times before in the ring.

"Good, good. Take off Jeff's pants." Taker's voice said.

"NO WAY IN HELL!" Jeff and Punk yelped in unison.

"Are you willing to let everyone die?" Undertaker asked.

"Just do it!" Miz blurted out.

"No!" Punk said, moving across the room.

"Twenty-eight..." Taker's voice said lowly.

Phil just gave the ceiling an "I dare you" glare. He knew Undertaker had to be faking this. "Twenty-nine..."

Phil continued to glare at the ceiling. "Tick tick tick..." Undertaker said as if speaking to a small child or a pet. Khali spluttered, coughing up blood. His eyes started to roll black and blood started trickling down his body. He shuddered and went still.

"Looks like one had to die for you to get it, hm?" Undertaker asked. Phil stood there shocked.

"Just do it, you ass hat!" Mike growled. Punk took a few steps toward Jeff before leaning down in front of him and putting his hands on his jeans button. He unsnapped it. Jeff blushed furiously.

Phil unzipped the pants and slipped them off, leaving Jeff in his boxers. "Now get rid of your pants, Punk."

Phil hesitated, "D-do I have to?" He bit his bottom lip.

"Yes." Taker said. Phil blushed and sat down, keeping his knees up to his chest, slowly undoing his pants before sliding them off.

"Are you body-shy, Punk?" Christian rolled his eyes.

"N-no...Taker poisoned our drinks, he...um...I think he may have slipped me something else, too." Phil bit his bottom lip again.

Mike laughed, "Oh my God, do you have an erection, Punk?"

Undertaker's voice sounded again, "Take off Hardy's boxers." Punk blushed deeply before standing up again and sliding off Jeff's boxers.

"What the hell, Punk?" Jeff squirmed, "Why are you turned on by this?"

Mike laughed, and Phil blushed extremely deep, "I told you. Undertaker must have drugged me with something else, too..."

"Take off your boxers, CM Punk." Undertaker's voice said lowly. Punk sighed, sliding his boxers off.

"Now, do you see that bathtub?" He asked. The two naked superstars nodded. "Help Jeff into the tub." Punk helped the man up, and helped him sit in the back of then tub, "Punk, you get in, too."

Phil nodded and got in. The bottom of the tub was covered in a slight coating of what seemed to be mold. Phil cringed. "Now, make love to Hardy."

"WHAT?" Jeff blurted, "NO WAY IN HELL!"

"Do you want to die?" Undertaker asked. The two men looked at each other.

"Come on, guys..." Christian said, "Can't you just...take one for the team?"

Phil sighed, "Nobody look. Jeff...we have to if we want to live."

Jeff looked away and rolled over so his stomach lay on the bottom of the tub. "Go ahead..."

Phil lowered himself so his torso rested gently on Jeff's back and forced himself into Jeff. Jeff yelped loudly. Phil thrusted gently. "I-I hate you." Jeff said through clenched teeth.

"Just bear with it." Punk thrusted again. Jeff curled his fingers in the mold-like substance. Phil thrusted a little harder, and bit his bottom lip.

"Oh...God..." Jeff bit his lip, holding back what seemed to be a moan.

"Sh-shut up." Phil thrusted.

"Tell him that you love him." Undertaker said.

"I-I love you, Punk." Jeff said, almost growling.

"I love you too, Jeff." Phil moaned.

Mike and Christian sat looking away, "This is really fucked up." Mike whispered.

Jeff climaxed with a loud noise. Phil moaned and thrusted again. "Good. Twenty-seven..." Undertaker said.

Phil blinked and thrusted again and climaxed inside Jeff. Jeff let out a shriek and Punk bit his bottom lip. "Congratulations." Undertaker's voice said lowly, "You four have made it."

Phil pulled himself out of Hardy, who yelped loudly. "The antidote will not be given to you."

"WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU SAID WE COMPLETED IT!" Punk shrieked.

"You did." Undertaker sounded amused. "Good work." Khali moved a little.

"What...the...hell?" Punk blinked.

"Happy April Fool's day." Christian and Mike smiled in unison.

Punk blinked, "I am never...EVER...talking to any of you again." He grabbed his pants and slid them on. Christian, Mike, Khali, and Undertaker laughed. Jeff sat there stunned.

"I-it...was...all a prank?" Jeff asked.

"Apparently so." Punk growled. "C'mon Jeff. Let's get away from these lunatics. And if you mention to ANYONE that we had sex, I will personally fuck you up."

Jeff nodded, then put on his clothes. "Could you let us out, Undertaker...?" A door opened in the corner of the room and the two men exited. Undertaker stood at the end of the hall.

"You're lucky I don't kick you in the nads." Punk grimaced.

Undertaker smirked. Jeff looked at Phil, "You start going to find your car, I need to kill Undertaker."

Phil nodded and walked away, "Just don't leave too much evidence."

Jeff smiled at Undertaker, "Thanks man, you did me a huge favour."

"No problem, now, pay up." Undertaker smiled. Jeff withdrew four hundred dollars from his pocket.

"Just how much you asked for." Jeff smiled.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this. I don't usually write slash OR smut, and I combined the two. **


End file.
